Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
