you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
