benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
