Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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