My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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