ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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