dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
