i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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