Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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