Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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