I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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