1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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