she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
