ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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