some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
