At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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