Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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