4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
