i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
