My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Dicks are not precious.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
