your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
