Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
