I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
