Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
