I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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