omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
