This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
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Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize