Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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