Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Randomize
