my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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