We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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