when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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