I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
