Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my vag is so smooth its legendary
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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