This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
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We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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