do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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