Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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