as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
too bad you live with your parents still
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
