Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My liver just broke up with me...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
