he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
