he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
