He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
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He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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