so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
