maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
