Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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