sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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