Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
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Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
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I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize