they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
