Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Randomize
