He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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