Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
