The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
