I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
