how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize