i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
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The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
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The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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