i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
