There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
