call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
