Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
