As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
