And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize